From the Congregational Church of Eastford
Every February, our culture observes Valentine’s Day, a day set apart to celebrate love. However, if you take a look at how our culture celebrates this holiday, it highlights a certain kind of love — the fiery red, heart-shaped, romantic kind of love — the kind of love we see depicted in soap operas and rom-coms, where lovers go to extreme ends to show their devotion. This is the kind of love Valentine’s Day highlights.
This sort of love feels good. I have experienced the thrill of this explosive love towards another, and I’d be willing to bet you have as well. I am by no means trying to knock romance, as I probably wouldn’t be married without it. It is where most romantic relationships begin!
Nevertheless, long-lasting relationships do not remain in this explosive phase of love, despite what today’s romance novels and films might suggest. In a lot of ways, our culture’s picture of love is restricted to and synonymous with this romantic love, placing unrealistic expectations on our relationships to always be explosive and exciting. And when they’re not, we move on, in search of the next jolt of romance.
I think many of us can agree our culture isn’t painting an honest picture of what real love truly looks like. Deep down, we know real love is more than this.
As a pastor, I have had the wonderful privilege of officiating a handful of weddings. Leading up to the ceremonies, I meet with each couple to decide details, logistics, and to go over their vows. Standard wedding vows include promises to love and cherish each other “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” We’ve all heard these before.
The truth is, life isn’t always romantic. We get sick unexpectedly. We hit hard times. Wedding vows recognize this reality. Romantic love isn’t what you need when life goes sideways. A different kind of love is required. A steadier, quieter kind of love.
Perhaps you’re rolling into this new year a little worse for wear. You’re tired and hurting. Maybe the explosive nature of a romantic relationship has blown up your life. I’d like to offer you something better than a heart-shaped sugar rock. I’d like to invite you to consider where I’ve found a bottomless source of real and steady love.
There is a famous passage in the Bible quoted very often at weddings that speaks of this real love. It defines love in a myriad of ways, but one aspect it reiterates is how love endures. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” Where does this love come from, and how can you experience it?
Well, I’ll be straight forward. This love is found in Jesus.
Depending on who you are, dear reader, this may cause you to either roll your eyes, laugh, or nod in agreement. When I first heard it stated that a man who lived 2,000 years ago had something to offer me, it left me more confused than anything else, until I experienced it myself. Jesus isn’t as explosive or alluring as what our culture is trying to sell you, but I’ve found His to be the most genuine, steady, and compelling.
If you’d like to learn more, I’d invite you to either come visit our church (10 a.m. every Sunday at the Eastford Elementary School), or reach out to me ([email protected]). And happy Valentine’s Day! May our town be a place where the explosion of romantic love stirs up more of the real, quiet love we all need.